DAY LX

31 December 2014

Worked on the deck most of the day.

Frustrating end to the year. So little accomplished. The d#mned house isn’t listed yet. I’m still almost broke. I will be going back to the same crappy job here in a few days. I’m fat.

DAY LIX

I started working on the deck project around noon, and continued, making slow but steady progress, until I was thwarted by gale force winds and monsoon rains!

A couple of small trees in the yard blew down. Two fairly large papaya trees in the neighbor’s yard fell, a result of the saturated soil and the intense wind.

This weather is insane.

DAY LVIII

I had a dentist appointment at 11:00 a.m.

The rest of the day I moped around. Very depressed. Very tired. Slept for two solid hours in the afternoon.

My weight is up, despite having resumed jogging during my sojourn on the Big Island. I’m at 207 pounds.

I am SO TIRED of people telling me how to do the deck project. Neighbor guys keep offering their “advice” as to what materials I should use, what tools I should use, how I should put things together, why what I’m doing isn’t right, how it would be so much faster if I did it this way or used these tools or… gah!

The stupid stairs I built leading down to the beach last summer, the ones I cobbled together out of cast-off and leftover lumber using my electric drill and a cheap Black & Decker jig saw, survived their first TOTAL INUNDATION by the ocean last week. They didn’t budge an inch. The surf came up into the yard, over the steps. They’re still fine.

The deck will be the same way. It’s an OLD DECK. It was built fifty years ago. It was built totally “wrong” by today’s standards –– the joists are spaced fifty-one inches apart, there are no support piers under the 8-foot span, and even though most of the supports are badly rotted and termite-damaged, it’s still holding together. I’m putting it back together “wrong” as well, making it up as I go, patching the rotted joists using salvaged 2×4 lumber from the old deck top. All I have to work with is a jig saw and an electric drill. It’s slow, but it’s going to work. What I don’t have is a ton of money. I’m tapped out after buying deck screws and 2×4 stud grade lumber. I can’t afford TREX® planking for the deck. I’m not going to buy, or fuss around with, hidden deck fasteners. I’m not going to buy plywood at fifty dollars a sheet. I’m not going to replace all the 2×6 and 4×6 support beams with new lumber. Sure, if I could afford all that stuff, I would. If I could afford new power tools I’d have a miter saw and the job would be done hours more quickly.

It’s gonna look adequate and it’s gonna function adequately.

Or it would, if I finish it. Right now there’s a big, ugly hole full of rotten wood and rusty nails in front of my house. Since everybody else seems to know how to do things better than I do, maybe I should just let somebody else finish it.

DAY LVII

Drove to Lowes Home Improvement Center to purchase supplies for the deck project. I am attempting to complete this project as inexpensively as possile, simply because I haven’t much money. I am using plain, stud-grade 2×4 lumber for the deck planking. I will be salvaging what I can from the old planking to shore up the rotted, termite-infested supports.

I removed the remainder of the deck planking and started reinforcing the most badly damaged support beams.

DAY LV

Two projects underway:

1. List house for sale. I have the paperwork. I need to complete the paperwork, scan and email it back for listing on the MLS, and take photos to submit with the listing.

2. I am going to replace the front deck of the house, as it has nearly rotted through in places.

DAY LIV

On Big Island visiting my dad, who is staying in a condo complex with a group of his friends. Meeting or visiting with people I do not know or do not know well is always very challenging and exhausting for me.

Returned home in the evening.

DAY LIII

At Kailua-Kona on the Big Island visiting my dad. He is staying there in a condo complex with a group of friends.

DAY LII

Flew to Big Island to visit my dad, who is staying in a condo with a group of friends.

Had a touch of stomach flu first night. Very unpleasant.

DAY LI

Halfway point through the second hundred days.

I may as well just give up and die right now. I hate my effing life, yet I can’t, or won’t, do anything to change it.